Better To Have Loved
by Amerachan
Summary: A small wedding, a beautiful home, and beautiful children. She doesn't like to be lonely, he doesn't want her to know his terrible secret.


Better To Have Loved...

They were newlyweds. Few had come to the wedding; family, some friends from their school days, the Rockbells, who were also newlyweds, living with the husband's mother not to far away. Everyone knew about the wedding; it was a small town, where everyone knew each other.

"Trisha's so lucky," the women gossiped at tea. "Hohenheim is so handsome!"

"Hohenheim is one lucky guy," the men gossiped at work. "Trisha is absolutely beautiful!"

Before their marriage, Hohenheim had built the house they were to live in; a small, quaint house on top of a hill, next to an old, sturdy tree. Trisha had worried that the tree might fall on the house in a violent storm.

"Not this old tree!" Hohenheim had said confidently, giving the tree's trunk and good slap. "This tree is nearly two hundred years old, and it's seen many many storms, and I'll bet that it'll see many more before it falls down!"

When Trisha said that its age was all the more reason for worry, Hohenheim kissed her gently and twirled her hair in his fingers.

"Don't worry about the tree. Just trust me."

After their marriage, they moved into the house. Hohenheim, being an alchemist, worked in his study most of the time. He developed theories, wrote theses, got published. They made good money, and Trisha found she no longer needed to work in the clothing factory just down the street. It was Hohenheim who insisted she quit.

"Now that we are getting enough money coming in, we can focus on a family."

She could only smile.

Edward was born less than a year later. It was a difficult birth, and doctors feared for her health. She stayed with her baby in the hospital for a week before they deemed her healthy enough to leave. As the weeks passed on and Edward began to grow, Trisha commented that he looked just like his father. Hohenheim only nodded; the prospect seemed to trouble him.

It was shortly thereafter that Hohenheim's work, namely his research, forced him to travel, so he was often away. He sent Trisha worried letters nearly every week, making sure she was okay. She replied each time that she was fine, and that he should stop worrying so much. She always wished him a safe and fruitful trip.

Another year later, Alphonse was born. This birth was a lot easier, but the doctors recommend that she not get pregnant anymore; her body seemed to have a hard time with it. Hohenheim stayed at the house for the next several months, refusing invitations to places Trisha had never heard for conferences and research opportunities. Instead, he stayed in his study most of the time.

One night, after Trisha had put the boys to bed, she knocked quietly on the study door. A soft 'come in' followed. She entered hesitantly and walked to his desk, where he was lighting the third candle for the night. She placed her hands on his shoulders and massaged them gently.

"You should come to bed, dear," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"I have to finish this paper, I can't," he replied, turning quickly to kiss her back.

"You should come to bed _with me_," she said quietly.

"I can't."

"You've been working for three days straight, honey! You need some sleep."

"I'm not tired, it's okay."

"Please?" she asked, moving to look at his face. "I get lonely in that bed all by myself, and you know I hate to be lonely."

He paused to look at her.

"Come on, just one night. That paper isn't even expected for another month. You can take the time to sleep and relax just one night, can't you?"

He considered the request for a long moment before blowing out the candle and rising from his chair. He then picked her up into his arms and carried her to their bedroom, where he gently set her down. He lay atop her for a while, and kissed her. She smiled and kissed him back, running her fingers through his golden locks. After a few minutes, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

As Edward and Alphonse grew older, Hohenheim stayed away from home more and more. One day, as Trisha began preparing dinner after putting the boys down for a nap, Hohenheim came into the kitchen and hugged her. She turned around and smiled at him, kissing him lightly. She watched as something etched itself into his features. Something was troubling him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Trisha, I have to go away for a while."

"Okay, have a safe trip," she replied. As she turned to finish preparing dinner, he squeezed her shoulders a little.

"I'll be away for a very long time. Maybe even years."

She stopped, her eyes widening.

"But I'll come back. I promise. And I'll write you. Please, tell me how the boys are doing every now and again."

She hesitated a long moment before forcing a smile.

"Alright. Be safe."

"I'm sorry, Trisha. I'm going to make you very lonely for a while."

"It's alright, I'll have the boys. I won't be lonely."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He kissed her and left without another word.

A year later, Trisha heard Alphonse, who had just been talking for a year and a half, asked his brother as they were playing in the living.

"Hey big brother? Where do you think Daddy has been all this time? I miss him."

"Who cares?" Edward replied, folding his small, chubby arms. "He probably ditched us."

Trisha cried that night.

She received only a few letters from Hohenheim, and each of them explained that he would not be there long enough to receive a letter from her, but he would be in a more permanent place soon, and then she could write him. But soon, the letters stopped coming, but Trisha still woke up looking out the window, down the road that led to their house. She watched her boys grow up, but soon she fell ill. She knew she was dying. She sent a letter to Hohenheim that said simply;

_Dearest;_

_Please come visit me soon, I've been very lonely all these years. I hope you are safe, and please keep me close in your heart, and hold me tight in your dreams. I love you._

_With all my love,_

_Trisha_

When Hohenheim received the letter three years later, he cried, and wrote to her simply two words; 'I'm sorry.'

* * *

Okay, I admit, I haven't written in a very long time, and this probably isn't among my best works, but this was thought of in the shower..and I wrote it kind of late at night, so I didn't have much time if I ever wanted to sleep. And the reason for not having written in forever? Lack of ideas and school. Especially now that I'm in college, finding the time to do something I want has become considerably more difficult. So, sorry for the forever and the sucky, but there you go, a short little oneshot. I may write more, depending on inspiration and time. Until next time, whenever that may be, Ja ne!

Words of Wisdom: Do NOT walk two and a half hours down the street in a tanktop in search of Bubble Tea on a bum ankle. It hurts like crap and a lot of people honk their horns at you and try to pick you up. Was it worth it? Hell yes!


End file.
